Buddhist Heaven is in dire financial straits. Financial analysts blame a culture of callous disregard for money within the organization.

Nirvana, the heaven for all discerning Buddhists, has filed for bankruptcy and Buddha's chief financial advisor may face indictment for fraud.

The announcement was made by solicitors acting on behalf of creditors, who made their move to seize Nirvana assets early yesterday. "Nirvana has persistently failed to meet their financial obligations and this has prompted the current proceedings," said a solicitor representing the Universal Bank, who claims it is owed in excess of five billion dollars (US).

Analysts commenting on the situation have expressed little surprise. "There have been problems with their debt management for some time," Brainsnap Financial Review Chief Editor, Clinton Mickellson said. "It was only a matter of time before it reached a breaking point."

A Nirvana insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, spoke to Brainsnap about the crisis. "It's this whole 'eliminate desire' philosophy that's sent us up the proverbial creek without a proverbial paddle," she said. "Buddha was born into a rich family and lived a life of poverty. He's never been good with money. To be honest, I don't think he really knows its value."

This casual perception toward money seems to have filtered into the Nirvana bureaucracy. "You get a lot of chanting and meditation, but not too much book keeping or financial management," the insider told us. "Whenever there were problems, we were always told to keep things in perspective. 'Money isn't important,' they'd say. 'It is linked to desire, and desire is linked to unhappiness.' Well, now we're bankrupt and have nothing, so desire might be a little more important from now on."

Buddha was unavailable for comment, though it is understood that he was very upset when his golden stupa and prayer wheel was repossessed. He was overheard saying, "Those ars....I hope they f##%ing rot in a sh## box."

"The problem for Nirvana is that their real converts to Buddhism tend to forsake money," Brainsnap's Theological Weekly Chief Editor, Sonya Sedran said. "Sure they get the celebrities like Richard Gere, but we all know he's just in it for the cool clothes and Tibetan street credibility. The real Buddhists give up on desire for wealth and material gain and live in poverty, seeking spiritual fulfilment. It's all lovely and nice in theory, but when it comes to balancing the books, it doesn't work too well in practice."

"Now some of the other religions have made collecting money an art form. If Buddha is to come back from this disaster he may need to carefully research the financial practices of some the other major religions, and adopt at least some of their practices. It would only take some minor compromises. Christianity gave up on the 'blessed are the meek and poor' concept years ago, and they're registering healthy profits these days."