At least one big winner has emerged from the confusion and controversy surrounding yesterday's elections: Diebold Corporation has earned clear majorities in 234 races across the country.

"We're surprised but pleased by this unexpected outcome," Diebold spokeswoman Cindy Sterbkuhn told reporters.

Despite polling poorly prior to the election, the Ohio-based security company seems to have swayed large numbers of voters once they were in the privacy of the voting booth.

"The result is a bit puzzling since Diebold was not actually on the ballot," said the clerk of elections for Coalfield County, Missouri, one of the areas where Diebold won big. "But we've been over the tally from the AccuVote-TS dozens of times and there's no doubt Diebold won. It appears they waged a very successful write-in campaign."

"Having a corporation win is unprecedented," admitted election scholar Harvey Dwighthouse. "However, the courts have ruled that corporations are to be considered people under the law, so I guess it's legitimate."

Democracy activists hailed the results as a clear sign of progress.

"For a long time, corporations have been shut out of the democratic process, forced to spend millions of dollars on the periphery of campaigns in vain attempts to get their voices heard," said Jenna Tam for Supporters of Corporate Access to Ballots (SCAB).

"Now, we'll finally see big business get a chance to have their voice heard in government."

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External links:
www.blackboxvoting.org
Open Voting Consortium