SYDNEY, Australia 4th July. Australians are ecstatic today after their team won a nail biting victory in the reality game show, "Who Wants to be American?" The Australian team narrowly defeated close rival the United Kingdom in the final.

"It's a dream come true," said Australian competitor, Jacqueline Jones. "I can't believe we did it. We've worked so hard."



The game show, which is screened in twenty-four countries across the world, pits national teams against each other in a competition to see which one is the most American. Teams compete in a variety of activities including baseball, bull riding, a fashion parade and a quiz on general knowledge and world affairs (the winner being the one that scores the lowest).



An Australian Government official announced today that it was "... a very pleasing result for the whole nation." However, they also asked the Australian public to be patient. "We're not American yet. There are a lot of steps that will need to be taken before we can achieve that dream. But we are on our way!" The official pointed out that the Australian government had been working towards becoming American well before the game show victory. "We've been doing everything the Americans tell us to do for years now."



Social researcher from Sydney's Cook University, Professor Bill Harfpin, suggests that it is not surprising that Australia did so well in the competition.



"We've been making the transition from independent nation to fifty-first state for some time. It's only now that it's getting official recognition." He points out that most of the content on Australian television and almost all the movies in cinemas are American. There are also more McDonald's restaurants per capita in Australia than anywhere in the world. "A lot of Australian teenagers would be surprised to find out that they aren't American already," says Halfpin.



Australians are excitedly looking forward to the challenges ahead as they seek to become a part of the greatest nation on Earth. American football and baseball training camps have been set up across the nation to educate Australians in these once unfamiliar pastimes. Non-American? sports such as cricket and Australian Rules football are being phased out in schools. Some local councils have even set up special elocution clinics to teach people how to speak correctly with an American accent.



It still may be a while off yet, but the recent victory in "Who Wants to be American?" has inspired a nation to believe that it's a real possibility that they may soon become the fifty-first state of America. "It's what we all want," said Jacqueline Jones with tears in her eyes after the victory, "And we're so close now. I'm just so proud that I have been able to make a contribution to the dream."