Zombie leadership committee predicts 'slim pickings' for tonight's feast/political rally.
Monroeville, PA - The outskirts of Pittsburgh are under siege tonight as hordes of brain-eating zombies form a picket line of dissent. Many are waving placards and demanding increased levels of political representation.

"We no longer think that the Republican Party represent our interests as well as they used to," zombie activist Tim Higgins told local media. "And it is about time we expressed our dissatisfaction. When our party favors tax-cuts to the rich, massive trade deficits, and are prepared to throw away tens of thousands of lives for an ill-planned adventure in Iraq, it's clear we zombies aren't getting the political representation we deserve."

The zombie vote has been all but ignored in the lead-up to the November elections.

"For too long the GOP has taken the support of zombie voters for granted," one undead shambling corpse told reporters. "That's why we've launched a new initiative called Get-Out-the-Grave-and-Vote."

For decades, hordes of walking dead have plied the streets, highways and underpasses of North America, often in minimum wage jobs. Experts say most zombies don't have adequate health care, let alone high expectations.

"It's a depressing fate for many of us," admits Higgins, who has delivered pizza for nine years. "When I deliver a pizza, most people think that stuff on my face is acne. Most don't see me for what I am - a member of a disenfranchised underclass."

Yesterday evening, hundreds of zombies descended on Monroeville Mall near Pittsburgh, PA, to offer a show of cultural solidarity, as well as to donate canned food items to a local charity. Although Pittsburgh has been described as "Zombie Capital of the World", many zombies contend that political representation in their home state is negligible.

"We used to think Senator Rick Santorum was one us. Anyone can make that mistake."

Earlier this month, Santorum announced that the Department of Health and Human Services had released $5.3 million to promote healthy marriage and responsible fatherhood in Pennsylvania.

"Promote healthy marriage? How the F@#k!? Just what zombie children need, a politician promoting healthy marriage. How does one promote a healthy marriage anyway - and what's unhealthy? And whose definition of 'health' are we talking about? Did they ask zombie groups for their definition of healthy marriage?

"Bits of my wife keep falling off her but I still love her, don't I? But Santorum would probably call that sick. I guess that decent, tax-paying Pennsylvanian zombies won't be seeing any of that $5.3 million dollars any time soon."

The activist added that he'd eat the Republican's brains, but it'd be like eating quail. "Too much fuss for too small a snack."