The recent shortage of Zip-lock bags has rattled pot smokers world-wide and could have a significant impact upon industrial relations in America.

Zip-lock bags are the most common means of carrying cannabis in the Western world. However, due to plastic shortages in China, where 94% of the worlds Zip-lock bags are manufactured, production is at its lowest level in more than twenty years. This has had a significant impact on the supply of cannabis products in the United States.

Already stoners are feeling the impact.

"I'm, like, eating cereal this morning and it tasted like cardboard, dude. I suddenly realised that I can't afford better cereal. This is a pretty frickin' unsatisfactory state of affairs, meng," says Donald Napper, 32 of Maverson County, Illinois. Mr Napper, who staples pieces of rubber sheeting to other pieces of rubber sheeting for $5.21 an hour, claims that without the medicinal benefits of the herb, he might soon have to join a union and "lobby for better working conditions or something."

Yale Economist Richard Winters, MBA., PhD., fears that without a decent circulation of wacky weed, the people who do all of the worst jobs in the United States might realise they were being gipped.

"The Zip-lock bag shortage is a worrying state of affairs. Employers across North America have noticed a drop in productivity. Normally drowsy, mundane work environments have been infected with a sullen disquiet and bad tempers. Lowest rung employees are looking around for the first time in years, and noting how awful their lives are."

Mitch Patomik of Burble Springs, Maryland, is another worker stung by the tough side-effects of the Zip-lock bag shortage.

"Suddenly I'm looking at this industrial vaccuum cleaner that I have to push around this factory all day and I'm thinking - 'f-ck this machine!' I want 20 bucks an hour for this sh-t! And while I'm at it, I wouldn't mind a clean, safe work environment. Maybe with free dental and medical benefits."

Lifelong stoner and Drew Carey fan, Morris Jessup, admits the plastic bags shortage might be ruining his life. What's more, Jessup claims he is now barely able to function in society.

"Dude, ever since this bitch of a Zip-lock bag shortage hit our State, I've been feeling like, 'damn, where did the past five years go? Could I really have spent it emptying ashtrays in the Rumsland Mall off Route 38? Suddenly, I'm thinking they should pay me more for this crap. And I'm thinking that attending night-school might be a good idea... and maybe reading international newspapers instead of ones owned by that Billionaire Australian dude might help me understand what the hell is going on." Jessup adds, "Did you know that Sound Garden broke up? I only just found out..."

More disturbingly, Morris Jessup is confronting questions that have plagued drug-free people for years.

"I stopped being able to get my hands on some Green friday night and now suddenly I don't understand why I was laughing at Drew Carey's show last week.

"Even freakier - all of a sudden Jay Leno is this retarded looking dude with messed up hair. What's fricking wrong with that guy's hair, man? Plus - I don't even think he's funny now... and suddenly most of my favorite celebrities are talentless, narcissistic d-ckheads. I'm like - Man! I miss my weed!"

Nonetheless, Jessup confronted his addiction proactively. Realising he had to adapt to his new expanded consciousness, he first attempted to stave off the cravings for drug-addled bliss by smoking broken pencil shavings.

"All it did was make everything turn yellow," said a sobre Jessup, adding, "I lost feeling down one side of my body. Since then I've been reading Ikea catalogs and planning a move out to the suburbs."

-AP