Pineapples: not good petsPop starlet and controversial mother Britney Spears was attacked yesterday by her pet pineapple. She is currently recovering from severe lacerations across her upper body and neck in Beverley Hills Private Hospital. The pineapple has been put down.

Pet pineapples have been all the rage in Hollywood circles, since miniature dogs went out of fashion earlier this year. Research into fruit and vegetables last year revealed that pineapples were the most intelligent fruit (as reported by Brainsnap). Since then, the humble pineapple has undergone a revolution in its social position.

No longer is it something to simply chop and can. Pineapples have been seen on the arms of celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Nikkie Ritchie. Britney Spears reportedly bought her pineapple last month, and was photographed cuddling it only last week.

"It's a great pet," she told Who Magazine in the article that accompanied the photographs. "It's really docile and doesn't make a mess on the carpet. And it's supposed to be great with children. I love it."

Unfortunately, her love has turned to tragedy. The exact circumstances that sparked the attack are unknown. However, Spear's husband Kevin Federline told Brainsnap that he believed the paparazzi were responsible.

"It's like Princess Diana all over again," he said, while taking a break at the bar during one of his regular dance parties. "They were chasing her for a photograph, and one of them got in her face - and with the flashes going off, the pineapple just went crazy. Poor Brit, I really feel sorry for her." Kevin even shed tears for his injured wife, before returning to the dance floor to bust some moves.

The tragedy may spell the end of the Pineapple pet craze. Paris Hilton's press agent announced that the heiress had recently bought a frisky tomato, which would seem to indicate that the pineapple is no longer her number one priority for affection. Nicole Ritchie and Nikki Stewart both are reportedly shopping for pet rocks.

Sadly, Britney's attack is not an isolated incident. Only last year, an attack of a trainer by a young pineapple at Florida's Vegetable World was reported all over the world. At the time, the public was assured that pineapples were perfectly safe. (See "Pineapple Mauls Trainer at Vegetable World")

VPA Condemns Paris Hilton

The Vegetable Protection Agency (VPA) is demanding that the government put in place greater restrictions of the ownership of pineapples. "They're wild fruit," VPA spokesperson Tony Daniels told Brainsnap. "It's sad that Spears was attacked, but the responsible pineapple has since been put down. It lost its life because it was suddenly a fashionable pet. That's the truly unfortunate aspect to this story."

Pineapple advocates have condemned celebrity heiress Paris Hilton after the amateur actress was spotted in San Francisco's Chinatown, allegedly eating a rare dish known to contain pineapple.

The dish in question, Sweet and Sour Panda, is eaten in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. A spokesperson for the celebrity has refused to comment on the allegations or the caloric content of the dish.