Tony Blair and John Howard, Britain and Australia’s respective Prime Ministers have become involved in a spectacular display of fisticuffs during a state dinner in London. Witnesses told Brainsnap the dispute initially developed from a conversation over cricket (always a touchy topic between the two nations), but had evolved into a fully fledged argument over which Prime Minister had been the best deputy sheriff to George Bush, and finally a punch up over who George liked best.

According to hospital reports, Tony Blair, being the younger man, appears to have dealt the best blows. John Howard reportedly was treated for cracked ribs, three broken teeth, a black eye and a ripped ear lobe. Blair received stitches above his right eye and was also treated for a bruised fist and knee.

The undeclared victory of Blair in physical combat may go some way to improving England’s battered pride after Australia’s complete annihilation of them in the recent Ashes Cricket series.

George Bush has reportedly rung both Howard and Blair while in hospital to assure each that he loves them very much and doesn’t play favorites, and that he spent equal amounts on them last Christmas. Both men were said to have received the news gratefully and cheered up remarkably after the phone call.

Meanwhile, press secretaries from both nations' Foreign Departments have assured the media that the fight was a personal stoush between the two leaders and did not have any lasting implications on the relationship between the two countries.

The British Foreign Secretary stated, “We wish to assure our Australian cousins that we bear them no animosity. Our leaders perhaps had a little too much wine over dinner and one thing led to another. We hope they do not hold any ill will toward us, despite the clear pasting their elected representative received at the hands of our elected representative. It is just one of those things, and does not reflect anything on the manhood of respective nations' populations. The British have clearly made a greater effort aiding our good friends the Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan, but while this may suggest a close relationship, we accept that is does not necessarily prove we are better friends with America than the Australians.”

The Australian Foreign Minister also released a statement, “Owing to an unfortunate collision with a table and a wall, it would appear that our Prime Minister received slightly greater injuries than that of our wonderful friend the British Prime Minister. We of course bear no ill will toward the British people for this. Indeed why should we? Considering they lose every sport they ever play against us (not just cricket or rugby, but even soccer!), we feel confident that our masculinity remains unquestioned, and should any nation care to query it, we challenge them to a beer chugging contest! Our contributions in Iraq and Afghanistan have admittedly been smaller than the British, but size is not always what matters, it’s what you do with it that counts. In addition, we have committed an enormous amount of money and troops to ensuring South East Asia and the Pacific remain good global citizens for our good friends America. Therefore we are confident that our friendship with the USA is extremely solid, perhaps firmer than most. However, we are happy to say that we are equal partners with the British in keeping the world united under American hegemony.”