Representatives of The Free World (TM) have requested the freedom to vote for or against the president of the United States.

"Several hundreds of millions of we Free World types who don't get to partake in the American election ritual - the one that decides who leads the Free World - have politely asked to have a say after many years," one foreign citizen told Brainsnap.

"We understand that many Americans aren't fully appraised of the virtues of freedom. In our free country of Australia, voting for leaders is compulsory. In the United States, only a third of voters turn up on voting day - partly because elections are held on week days when voters have to work, and partly because many voters don't know the election is actually happening. I understand Bill Clinton was brought into power with a measly 17 percent of the popular vote.

"In Australia, our leaders are elected on average with 45 percent of the popular vote, bringing us almost to the top of the 'representative democracy' food chain. This, we feel, is another reason why Australians should vote for the Leader of the Free World. Not just because the Leader is always telling us what to do and how to live and where to buy our pharmaceuticals unless we want severe trade sanctions, but for the sake of Freedom, mate. Perhaps next time, we can have an Australian Leader of the Free World? A Leader of the Free World who can skin his own crocodiles would rock!"

Early polls in Australia indicate that the next Leader of the Free World might be Midnight Oils frontman, Peter Garrett, who recently left his music career to enter Australian politics.

Norway, another flourishing nation with an excellent human rights record along with world-class freedoms, has also indicated interest in claiming Free World Leadership. "We're not the kind of people to boast, but we do have the highest living standard in the world. The US is now, what, eighth from the top? It's great and all, but we've been asking ourselves recently - who are these guys who are ruling the Free World anyway?"

Vice-president Dick Cheney, however, ruled out elections for Leadership of the Free World anytime soon.

"We Americans #%&*ing love democracy, and we recognize the #%&*ing self-appointed task of telling the world how to live is a heavy #%&*ing burden," Cheney told reporters in Washington. "We would like to spare the Free World that kind of #%&*ing choice. The system we have now, in which American citizens get to pick the #%&*ing Leader, is very #%&*ing democratic I think. If a billion malcontented #%&*ing foreigners with better #%&*ing living standards have a problem with that, then they can #%&*ing &#@$ my %** five ways 'til Sunday."