Norfolk, VA - Self-described Christian and career patriot Pat Robertson today downplayed rumors that he was in line to be the next prophet.

"I know it's not usually clever for anyone to believe that only he himself has any insight into the mind of God," Robertson told press. "It only really makes sense if you're a prophet, see. Otherwise - well, a fellow would be danged crazy to say the kinds of things I say."

The comments came only hours after the would-be prophet's claim that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was "punishment by God".

Critics claim that Robertson's 'God is punishing an Israeli Leader' claim is little more than a typical stunt performed by prophets since time immemorial.

According to one Harvard Professor of Theology:
"Saying that God is smiting a leader in Israel for any reason - in this case, dividing the Holy Land - is like Prophesy 101. Everyone knows you can't be a prophet without claiming that 'God is smiting an Israeli Leader' at least once."

Meanwhile, the apprentice prophet remains tight-lipped on the nature of how God is communicating his secret views on global events to his new mouth-piece.

Journalists Concerned Over Pat Robertson's Sources

Robertson has scandalized church-goers in the past with statements connecting Osama bin Laden with the will of God. In 2001, after the events of 9/11, the prophet told press:
"This is God's power and he sent this thing to warn us ... we needed a shock."

Many Christians are surprised to discover that Pat Robertson, like many Islamic clerics, believes that God is using Osama bin Laden to send messages to America. On another occasion, speaking of the 9/11 attacks, Robertson told press: "But I want to say as surely as I am sitting here today, this is only a foretaste, a little warning, of what is going to happen..."

Some journalists, however, are growing increasingly uncomfortable about Pat Robertson's claims to speak on behalf of God-like Beings he hasn't met. "If we're to write about him, and what he claims to know," one editor asks, "shouldn't we be vetting the man's sources?"

More worryingly, the parallels between Robertson's rhetoric and that of terrorist group Al Qaeda spell trouble for any future chances the reverend has of becoming the next prophet.

As one Brainsnap reader writes, 'How does he frickin' know Osama is working for God when he crashes 747s into skyscrapers? How does he know that God has it in for Sharon, for f*cks sakes? Is God calling him on a satellite phone or is he getting emails from terrorist cells or what?"

Editors note: This is a touchy subject, but we believe that this is a free country, damn it, and Pat Robertson can believe that God expresses himself through the actions of terrorists or almost fatal strokes if he wants. Please do not contact your local branch of the FBI and request he be interrogated in Guantanamo: Brainsnap considers this to be in very poor taste.