The great and courageous leader of the free world, George W Bush, displayed enormous empathy and compassion for American troops serving in war zones overseas in a speech today.

Speaking to a group of returned service men and women in Connecticut, the president told of the tremendous understanding he has for the trauma of his audience's war experience.

"I know what it is like. I too have experienced moments of great pain and fear in my past which must be comparable to your experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Bush explained that he had watched almost every episode of MASH and Hogan's Heroes. "I saw people die right there in front of me, and there was nothing I could do as Hawkeye pulled the white sheet over their head. Something like that really hits you here..." At this point, Bush pointed to his heart.

"And I understand the awful conditions faced during war," he continued. "In Hogan's Heroes, the men lived in tiny huts, sleeping in small bunks on top of each other. And they had to dig to find freedom. That's something most of you who were in Iraq and Afghanistan have not experienced, praise God, the awful imprisonment of Hogan and his buddies during World War II. I pray every night, that none of our boys and girls should ever go through such pain again."

However, Bush's war experience is not limited to situation comedies. "I watched most of Platoon, Saving Private Ryan, and I saw portions of Apocalypse Now and Black Hawk Down. I know the horror of war- the terror, the savagery and the sound of the Velvet Underground."

"I suffered as I witnessed Willem Dafoe look to heaven before being gunned down. I heard the sound of the bullets twanging off tank traps on a Normandy Beach. I've seen men crying on the beach as they held their guts in their arms, or walking helplessly carrying their dismembered arm... at that point I fast forwarded the DVD because their was a little too much gore. But I got the gist."

Fox News reported that the veterans who comprised Bush's audience were overwhelmed at the tremendous sacrifice their political leader had undergone, and many rushed to kiss him, but were restrained by security personnel. "They identify with him," Fox reporter Brendan Walmsley told viewers. "He's a man that has gone through something very similar to what they've experienced. You gotta respect a guy like that."

Brainsnap has as yet been unable to obtain a statement from an audience member to confirm Fox News' coverage of their reaction. However we are certain, because it's television, that it is all true.