Published on brainsnap (http://www.brainsnap.com)

Michael Jackson Demands Refund for New Zealand

By Nikolai Stephens
Created 07/12/2006 - 21:11

After surprising the world by purchasing and moving the nation of New Zealand, Wacko Jacko is back to his old ways by suddenly reversing his decision and demanding a refund.

"Mr Jackson no longer wants the country," Jackson's lawyer Phil Heijnen announced. "He would like his 2.6 million dollars back. The country may be beautiful, but after visiting it for a day, Mr Jackson decided it's just not what he's looking for. He feels that the costs of dealing with the enormous sheep population are too great and there were too few gazelles. He also found it very boring."

However, Jackson's sudden backflip may also be caused by the announcement of a challenge for ownership of New Zealand by Daniel Wayne who recently claimed he had purchased the nation on eBay for $3000. It is believed that lawyers acting for Wayne met with Jackson's legal representatives yesterday. It is possible that Wayne possesses irrefutable proof of his ownership of the island nation.

Currently, no official statement has been made by Wayne or his lawyers. But his neighbors in his home town of Bluesridge, Indiana have reported that Wayne has been doing further work in his garden and appears to making extra space which could be used to fit New Zealand. Wayne has previously stated that he wanted to use the country as a cool garden ornament.

The people of New Zealand however are unsure of what the new developments mean to them. "It's very confusing," Casey Moaner, a sheep farmer from Auckland told Brainsnap. "One minute we're completely lost to the world, the next we learn that Michael Jackson bought and towed us into the Northern Hemisphere; we get hit by North Korean missiles, and now we might end up a garden ornament in a place I've never heard of.

"I can tell you the sheep aren't enjoying the changes," he continued. "It's suddenly switched from winter to summer because Mr Jackson towed us into the Northern Hemisphere. And the annoying thing is, up here the only television reception I can get is from California, so I can't watch the rugby! Fortunately, I'm moving to Australia next week, though from what I see on the news, they all seem to be crazed by soccer lately, but at least the seasons will be right."

Moaner's worries over the sheep and rugby seem to be echoed across the entire nation. The few hundred people still living in New Zealand appear to care about little else other than these two subjects. Indeed, their passion for a rough ball game and fluffy mammals may be one of the reasons why Michael Jackson declared the nation 'boring'.

"Rugby and sheep, rugby and sheep, that's all we ever seemed to hear the whole day Mr. Jackson and I were there," a frustrated Phil Heijnen candidly revealed off camera to Brainsnap. "Don't those people have any other interests? All they could ask us was, 'Are our sheep going to be okay?' Or, 'Can we still field an All Blacks rugby team?' No wonder the rest of world ignores the silly little nation. They really are a bunch of bores!"

If Heijnen is correct, then Daniel Wayne, the likely new proprietor of New Zealand, may soon be regretting his purchase.



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