After a week of speculation in Australia over who would lead the nation as Prime Minister, the decision has at last been finalized. The incumbent PM, John Howard, will retain his position after defeating Treasurer and PM hopeful, Peter Costello, 3-1 in a ', rock, scissors' competition.

"It was the best out of five," veteran political journalist and analyst Laurie Oakes told Brainsnap. "Howard got the first one with scissors to Costello's paper. Then Costello countered with rock which beat Howard's second go at scissors. But Howard's conservative streak allowed him to get the upper hand in the next two rounds. Both times he persisted with scissors, both times cutting down Costello's paper."

After the contest a distraught Costello supporter told Brainsnap, "Who goes scissors every single time? Costello kept thinking Howard's got to change his policy sometime, surely he can't go scissors again and that's what did him. Howard's the most boring man alive."

However, Howard rejected any accusation of boringness. "I like to stick to the tried and true method that's worked for me since the fifties. It's won me four elections now, because fifty two percent of the Australia population are, like me, afraid of social change. I'm happy to say those people can look forward to another three years, at least, of social predictability. Oh, and I will continue to screw the poor as well."