Published on brainsnap (http://www.brainsnap.com)

Kurt Cobain Assaults Steve Irwin in Bull Ride Scuffle

By Nikolai Stephens
Created 10/10/2006 - 10:10

The soul of Kurt Cobain has been accused of assaulting the newly arrived soul of Steve Irwin at a night club in Heaven's Golden Street district.

Details of the incident are still sketchy, however a daily Heavenly tabloid, 'The Paradise News' reported this morning that the two former celebrities had a falling out over a mechanical bull ride. According to the report, Cobain was taken into custody and has since been directed to take counselling sessions with Jesus Christ to deal with anger management problems.

Local Heaven resident, Jason Drews told Brainsnap, "Yeah it got pretty rough there for a while. We're not used to that sort of violence in Heaven usually, except when the Hell crowd come up here through the holidays. But to be honest, it was partly Steve's fault. Kurt loves that bull ride and normally we all let him go to it. But then Steve turns up and keeps wanting to tackle and hug the thing. I think he misses his crocodiles. Anyway, after a few nights of arguing over whose turn it was, things turn violent and Kurt just clocked Steve."

Heaven's administration have been quick to assure citizens and terrestrial media sources that the incident was minor. "It's not uncommon for new residents to experience mild transferral problems. We have a lot of souls up here and it's only normal to accept occasional issues. Some souls just don't click. I doubt Steve and Kurt would have got on well on Earth either, if they had lived near each other," Heavenly spokesperson and former Earth reformation leader, Martin Luther said in a press conference today.

"Jesus has stepped in personally to deal with this matter, and his message to Kurt and Steve will be along the lines of loving one another and doing to each other as you would want done to you and so on and so on.

"We are also buying another mechanical bull," he added.



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