AUSTIN, Texas - A Texan firm has secured a major contract to supply three hundred electric chairs to Iraq, it was revealed today.
Justice officials in Iraq describe the purchase as 'timely, and indispensable for the future of peace and security in Iraq'. The Iraqi government has been using the more traditional means of hanging via gallows with limited success since 2003.
"We're hoping that the new chairs from Electric Solutions, Pty Ltd., can resolve the many wardrobe malfunctions and accidental decapitations that have plagued Iraqi executions."
The manufacturer says their product offers superior executions for a wide range of justice recipients and body types, with less noise, blood or gory surprises.
Electric Solutions is a subdivision of Pride Mobility, a Pennsylvanian company who has been manufacturing motorized chairs for the elderly since 1986.
"We have 20 years experience providing customers with multi-functional chairs and are the natural choice for our friends in the Middle East," Pride Mobility CEO Dan Meuser told Brainsnap on Tuesday.
Basam Ridha, spokesman for Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's office, told press, "The United States has offered all its invaluable expertise in the subject of dispensing with traitors and pigs.
"As we move forward into a new technological era of executions, we hope that accidental decapitations will become fewer and fewer."
Lay-Z-Boy, who have manufactured chairs in Michigan since 1928, narrowly failed in their bid to secure the contract. Iraqi officials described the Lay-Z-Boy models as 'potentially too comfortable' for their clientèle.