In an effort to attract attention from mainstream media who have all been ignoring him throughout the presidential race, Senator Ron Paul (R-Texas) has begun making appearances in a costume borrowed from America's Next Top Mascot.

Paul campaign chairmen Kent Snyder said, "There is an unprecedented outpouring of grassroots support for Dr. Paul. The message of freedom is powerful and uniting people across America.

"It is therefore a pity that Americans don't know who he is -- not that we need them because, well, there is an unprecedented outpouring of grassroots support for Dr. Paul."

Supporters think Paul's lack of coverage is due to an establishment news industry that is afraid of him.

Media consultant Garrett Medvedev explains, "He comes in with this talk of gutting government regulation and slashing corporate tax rates. If that happened, big corporations would stand to earn billions. Obviously they can't bear to contemplate such improvements."

"I don't want to be any richer," Rupert Murdoch told Fox News presenters on Friday. "I don't want to see News Corp stock going through the roof because, at heart, I'm not a greedy guy. And I'll tell you something else, Brit: now you're here you might as well give me a foot massage."

Ron Paul Ignored By Wife, Children

"We left him in the car. We totally forgot to take him into the casino," admitted Mrs. Paul. "We came back, there was saliva all over the windows."

More evidence of media bias emerged today as MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, and Animal Planet thoroughly covered Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's attire while making only passing reference to Ron Paul's wardrobe.

"Who was that guy wearing a bear costume?" asked anchor Brian Williams. "Paul someone, wasn't it?"

The news team then labored mightily to assist voters in the interpretation of subtle sartorial signals that would betray shifts in candidate strategy.

"Another effort from the Clinton camp to present their candidate as a bold but trustworthy figure with choice of maroon pattern blouse ... though do I detect a hint of desperation in the shift toward gold accents in recent days?"

While minor candidates resort to anything that will get them media coverage, major candidates fear even minor slip ups could cost them their presidential ambitions.

"I was surprised to see Obama wearing a narrow-striped tie that distorted on television - such a rookie mistake. I'm not sure he's ready for the presidency."

Meanwhile, Ron Paul's prospects may be improving, as he has added a number of children's birthday parties to his campaign schedule.

[Editors Note: We've been meaning to run this story for a while; we just kept forgetting.]