Fox News has reported that President George W. Bush has been re-elected President of the United States.

With only two days left before Americans head to the polls, Fox News has reported that the American people have overwhelmingly chosen Bush to continue to lead them for another four years.

"The votes are in and yes, Bush has won a second term," Fox News' Brit Hume reported. "Once again, Fox News has been first to scoop the election result. We'd like to congratulate President Bush and look forward to many, many more terms of Republican rule."

Democrats are stunned by the announcement. Speaking anonymously, one key Democrat staffer stated, "Of course, we are shocked by the Fox News' announcement. Last time they called the election before the votes had been counted. We think they may have gone a bit too far by calling the election before the votes are in, but like last time, we don't wish to quibble."

John Kerry released a statement a short time ago saying he had conceded to President Bush and thanked him for running a fair and balanced campaign. "Like last time, I think we would all like to know who really won the popular vote, but if Fox News is sure, then I feel that it would be bad for the nation to contest their decision at this stage."

Meanwhile, celebrations are underway in GOP headquarters and Republican campaign centers across the country. "I couldn't be happier right now if Jesus himself had come down from heaven," exclaimed Republican campaigner Mary Lou Freebush of Galviston, Texas. "This is truly a sign from the Almighty that He is on our side."