Former stuntman Evel Knievel has been sentenced to an eternity in Hell due to wrongful interpretation of his ethical affiliations, it has been revealed.

BERLIN, Germany - A new religious movement is sweeping Germany and is swiftly gathering converts right through Eastern and Central Europe.

The core belief of this religion is that a new Messiah, following in the footsteps of Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and Shiva, is walking the Earth at the present moment. This messiah is none other than American actor, and sometimes singer, David Hasselhoff.

The soul of Kurt Cobain has been accused of assaulting the newly arrived soul of Steve Irwin at a night club in Heaven's Golden Street district.

Buddhist Heaven is in dire financial straits. Financial analysts blame a culture of callous disregard for money within the organization.

Islamic Heaven has firmly rejected Al- Zarqawi's application for entry.

"He did not rate highly," Chief admission's officer, Sharwon Sulu, told Brainsnap. "Indeed, I believe a rank atheist with a tendency toward alcoholism and cursing would have achieved better results on the entrance examinations."

Jesus, chief spokesman for Christianity and poster boy for integrity, is categorically denying accusations that he had improper relations with Mary Magdalene.

He's the world's most infamous traitor, and plays a starring part in the Bible, a book that has even outsold the Da Vinci Code. But not much has been heard from Judas Iscariot since his memorable role in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. However, with the recent release of his own gospel, Judas has returned to Earth from his bungalow in Hell on a promotional tour. He speaks with Brainsnap's Nikolai Stephens at a book store in Berkeley: